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Mike Owens's avatar

This tracks for me. We have three kids. Money played no part in our decision not to try for a fourth.

My wife stays at home. We have family nearby who help us out. We were fortunate to be able to hire help to clean and mow after our twins were born.

And yet, we still feel constantly overwhelmed.

If you could reduce the mental load of modern parenting, you might be onto something.

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Avni's avatar

Loved this read - definitely advanced my previous thinking. Another direction we have to point technology to is not only the fertility to produce more babies, but the day to day support to raise these families in this modern context. Beyond the paid leave policies and childcare and the cost of families lies the realities of what it takes to be a dual working couple literally trying to make each week work.

We’re in need of a second family industrial boom - one that relieves women of the heavy administrative load and that invites men and other caregivers in, on their terms.

This isn’t just about “dividing up work” more fairly, but “disappearing” work that is making having kids seem undoable for many young women. As you pointed out, much of the boom followed a cultural model of desirability. We need the same again but entered around the very real mental load that’s a specific side effect of our digital age.

I wholeheartedly believe that the right science and tech can unlock new family possibilities by lifting these real burdens in new ways but the mental load can’t be “gadgetized” in the same way so it’ll take creative ways to solve.

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